The Call of an AI Assistant

I recently overheard someone talking about the rise of over-documentation of people's lives. We record and document every element of our lives these days, in case we need that information for something. "Why make the data even exist?" was their argument. "You can't have data held against you if it doesn't exist!"

I admit, the temptation is there for me to train an AI assistant for myself. I already (inconsistently) keep a makeshift daily note for work and study purposes. Surely if I were to capture more information, then have an AI analyze that, it would provide insights into my life to help me be a better person!

But that would require trusting my data to an AI of some sort. I usually try to stick to local models that run on my computer, as they seem more privacy- and eco-friendly. However, the local models I can run are a little restricted in their processing compared to the results of the big names of AI. If I wanted my results to be "good", I would need to use a cloud-based model. Not great for privacy. I've avoided it as a result.

So why does it still appeal to me? I spent some time introspecting on it, because if there is a way to satisfy that "urge" without resorting to AI, so much the better. The realization I came to is this: it's not about being able to track all this stuff. At the end of the day, I don't need to know how many hours I studied, except for my own edification. I don't need to have an AI pull together my tasks for work; I have other tools for that.

So why does it appeal? Firstly, I am a fallible human. I fear forgetting something important. I need to know something is there as a guardrail to stop myself from making a huge mistake. (ADHD-driven anxieties prevail here.) I fear the mistake, and am called by the "perfection" of a machine, even though I know logically it too is fallible.

Second, I crave validation that I am doing enough. There are so many times in life I think "where has the time gone" or "did I even do anything today"? And that is a struggle I face at the best of times. We live in a society that values people filling their schedule with various forms of labor, rather than making time to rest. Everything must be accounted for, for that is how you find the magical 25th hour in the day. What I really seek is someone saying "you have done enough. You can rest."

Ultimately, an AI assistant can never provide either of those. That validation can only come from myself or those I trust in my life. A mechanical solution can offer to mimic the validation, and perhaps I would find some degree of satisfaction at setting up such a system to measure "enough" for myself. In the end, however, only I can make that call.

In the end, everyone will have their own reason for using or thinking of using an AI assistant. And I cannot deny there are some uses that seem good. For now, though, knowing why they appeal to me personally, I think I can hold out a little longer and find other ways to satisfy the underlying reasons behind the appeal.